Do you still love me God? Do you still care for me God? Do you still answer prayers God? Well then why do I feel so alone? Why do I feel that if I were to scream at the top of my lungs no one would hear me? I feel like a ghost, no one can see me, but I'm there. When will you hear me again Lord? When will this pain be lifted from me?
Have you ever felt like this? Alone, unloved and totally ignored? You keep looking up to the heavens hoping He would hear you, He would change his mind and take you back, but nothing changes. If you want to know about God you must chase after Him. The bible says "knock and the door will be opened. Search and you shall find." You took the time to search for this on Google and other search engines, yet you have not looked for God in places where you can easily find Him! By the way, the pain you are feeling right now, is the same pain millions of people before you have felt. Millions of people before you have uttered the same words to God. In fact, it was the one who was after God's own heart, King David, who in Psalms 13: 1 said "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
God unequivocally exists and He loves you. He is right there watching you. He is with you now as you read this, as you discover why He has brought you to a place of solitude. A place much like a desert where seeing a vast nothingness you find yourself. Although you may take for granted the things He has already given and done for you, He has not forgotten about you.
Instead of looking up, look in! Have you confessed ALL of your sins to God? Have you removed all sin from your life? Have you been purified yet? Have you been tested yet? Gold is a very valuable commodity, yet gold would be worthless had it not been refined by fire. Each of us must be refined by fire to produce what each of us is meant to produce. The longer you stay in your sin, the longer you stay in the desert. Once you discover and confess your sin and promise to God that you will sin no more, you take the first step of your journey out of the desert. However, it will take some time. To some it takes as little as 40 days and to others as much as 40 years! I don't care if you are a pastor or a priest or if you have read the bible your whole life. I don't care if you have swallowed the words of the bible and have more verses memorized than any person on earth has! If you have not confessed your sin and promised you will sin no more (repented), you have not even reached the first stage of coming out of the desert.
But you say, look at all these people sinning left and right, they seem so happy being in their sin. In comparison, my sin is so small. Why am I being punished so harshly?! To those who know God, the more you know of Him, the more you know of His ways, His laws, His love, the more you hurt him by the least of sins. Please don't fool yourself into thinking this was the first time you sinned and you were punished. You know all too well that is not true. He is loving, merciful and kind. He is faithful. Don't attempt to rebel against Him even in your thoughts. All your thoughts must be pure.
Soon, you will inch your way out of the desert. Once you are out, see to it that you can help others come out of theirs.
Peace be with you. God bless you.
As Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 NIV
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